The Ultimate Garbage Gut

This meal right here is the reason I started this blog. I was stayin' at a friends place while I was between apartments. I brought with me all my leftover food from my old apartment, just a few pieces and parts of meals that I didn't want to waste. One night I decided to use all the leftovers I had brought in one single meal. What you see in the photograph is the result. I started by making 4 scrambled eggs with shredded cheese and a few pieces of eggshell to add just a little extra crunch, you could probably tell there was egg shell in it 1 out of every 8 bites. Next I pan fried a slice of ham and melted the remainder of the shredded cheese on it, then I rolled it around a hot dog I just took out of the microwave. Then there's the bagel dog. Two microwaved hot dogs split in half and spread across the bagel, complete with mayo, mustard, ketchup, and grape jelly. That little white pile you see above the eggs to the left of the bagel dog is sour cream, just in case I felt like dipping anything.

I have to say this is the first time I ever regret eating anything. I finished this thing in one sitting, and I could hardly move, hardly speak, hardly smell good, for the next hour and a half.

Go Go Garbage Gut

(Not pictured mashed potatoes with cream cheese)

The Best Sandwich I've Ever Ruined

I made this lunch at some point during the summer. Looks great, eh? So here's what I was workin' with. On that back plate there's some grapes, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, and Babybel cheese (I left some of the wax on cause its fun to chew on). To the right there, two juice boxes, I think they were grape juice. On the plate in the foreground I sliced some apple, then there's some EverythingBagel Chips with a little MiddleEasternHummus. None of those things are important. Focus on the sandwich: toasted soy crunch bread, lettuce, tomatoes, grilled onions, a little dab'll do ya of mayo and mustard, with Chicken Salad. Here's the deal though, I've made this sandwich before and I encountered a problem. The thing falls apart very easily whether or not you're bein' cautious. After a quick brainstorming session I knew there was only one solution: food glue. In this beautiful picture of my delicious chicken salad sandwich, one important factor is hidden. I smeared peanut butter on all the individual ingredients to try and get them to stay together. And the conclusion to all this nonsense is that it didn't work.

August 1st, 2009 - Hungry Man

Today I ate Hungry-Man's Salisbury Steak with Mushroom and Onion Gravy, Mashed Potatoes & Green Beans. AND A BROWNIE. 1 lb of food.

To prepare the meal I had to remove the film covering the brownie and make a slit in the film of the Green Beans and the Salisbury Steaks. Then I microwaved it for 4 minutes, but it was still cold, so I microwaved it for 3 minutes, but it was still cold, so I microwaved it for another 3 minutes, and it was just right. My favorite part is the Salisbury Steaks include grill marks even though at no point in their existence have they ever touched a grill. You can purchase a meal just like mine at your local liquor store. Hint: the Brownie is a little dry so pour some of the Mushroom Onion Gravy on top of it.